James W. Hicks, M.D.

Heteroflexible

In Sexual Types on July 31, 2010 at 5:45 am

Heteroflexible may be the most populous of the dozen sexual types.

If you are sexually flexible, you consider yourself straight, or mostly straight, but are open to the possibility, at least, of having sex with someone of the same gender. This category probably captures the majority of women and men in America today who are not exclusively homosexual or heterosexual in their attractions. It is poised to become the largest category of all as our culture becomes increasingly comfortable with the idea of sexual flexibility.

Flexible men and women may describe themselves as bi-curious, questioning, experimenting, or mostly straight. You may feel physically comfortable and emotionally close to a good friend of the same gender and curiously aroused by the possibility of fooling around with him or her. Or you may have realized that you find both men and women attractive, and you fantasize about both, though not necessarily to the same degree. You may not go looking for a homosexual experience, but you would be open if someone expressed interest in you. If you have already had a same-sex experience, you found it interesting or enjoyable, but it did not displace your interests in the opposite sex. Your worries about being gay, or being perceived as gay, are outweighed by your sense of self-confidence and curiosity, though you probably prefer to be seen by others as straight but open-minded. You may feel uncomfortable calling yourself bisexual.

Tom Hardy, one of the stars of the new movie Inception, may be best described as heteroflexible. He recently told the Daily Mail that he had sexual experiences with other men when he was a youth, but now that he’s in his thirties, “I’m done experimenting.” He is engaged to an actress and has a two year-old child.

  1. I jokingly refer to myself as being a “straight, male cocksucker” because while my primary sexual interest has always been women, I have very enthusiastically enjoyed performing fellatio ever since high school, when I began giving blowjobs almost daily to my best friend Larry. Aside than sucking cock and swallowing cum, I have no other sexual or emotional interest in men.

  2. Is there a “homo-flexible” category?

    • “Queer” encompasses homoflexibility. Many gay men and women are willing to experiment with straight sex. But my goal was to capture the most common presentations in our culture, not to create a symmetrical spectrum.

  3. WTF is the statement ” It is poised to become the largest category of all as our culture becomes increasingly comfortable with the idea of sexual flexibility” Are insane? The fact that today Heterosexuals are more accepting of gay and other lifestyles has no bearing on it. This is nothing but wishful thinking. I accept that there are gay people and they have rights. That does not mean I’m going to suddenly become sexually flexible myself. It seems as if your saying that being gay is a choice? If society is more accepting then somehow more people will choose to have gay sex? If you want people to accept you as being Gay, then you should also accept heterosexuals as they are. Stop trying to use propaganda to convince the world that most people have gay tendencies or that one day everyone will be bisexual.

    • I believe bisexuality would be the norm if society did not encourage heterosexuality in so many ways. There is a lot of evidence for this, though of course it would be difficult to do an experiment to prove it. The evidence, and the answers to your other questions, can be found among the other posts on this blog. I am trying to get people to think outside the box on a subject that is overdetermined, not only by presumptions of heterosexual normatively, but also by assumptions that there are just two extremes of sexuality, when in fact the middle ground is demonstrably much more common than homosexuality.

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