James W. Hicks, M.D.

"I Haven’t Had Sex Yet."

In Myths on September 7, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Is it premature to call yourself bisexual if you have not yet had sex with both men and women? Certainly you can refer to yourself as bisexual based on your attractions, even if you have not acted on them, but you may feel that your interests remain untested. You may be reluctant to commit yourself unnecessarily, especially if others might presume that you are more sexually experienced than you are.

Some people use the terms “bi-curious” or “try-sexual” to capture the fact that they are open to exploring sex with a member of the same sex, even if their predominant emotional interests or experiences have been with the opposite sex.

  1. no straight-oriented virgin would ever claim they weren’t heterosexual yet.

    • @Stella Omega: I beg to differ. I’ve realized for about the past year that I was heteroflexible because I’d occasionally gotten turned on by pictures of other guys shirtless and before that even, I’d had short-lived infatuations with other guys that besides (before and after) those moments of infatuation were simply platonic friendship. It’s only recently (within the last month) that I’ve really opened up to this fact, and I’ve started fantasizing about other guys while masturbating instead of exclusively women.

      I’ve never had a sexual encounter or romantic relationship with anyone before, but I’ve always predominantly gone for women, and know without a doubt that if I ever married, it would be to a woman.

      That said, I would choose straight (as I did on the quiz for this site yesterday) if I were only given the options of straight, bi, or gay, and would rate myself at Kinsey 1-1.5. Obviously not straight, but certainly leaning that way.

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