James W. Hicks, M.D.

“How Do I Know You Won’t Cheat on Me?”

In Myths on November 20, 2010 at 10:14 am

Coming out as bisexual to your partner is perhaps the riskiest disclosure. A certain amount of jealousy is common in relationships but usually focuses on one gender or the other. A bisexual partner could be tempted by either sex, and the opportunities expand into areas that previously might have seemed inconceivable, since interactions with the same sex are endless and rarely questioned. A man becomes suspicious of his wife’s nights out with the girls. A woman worries about her boyfriend’s trips to the gym. And gay women and men may fear that a bisexual partner will eventually want to settle down in a more conventional marriage with children.

Even if your partner understands that sexual attractions to both sexes are common, he or she will consider your declaration a sign that your interests are on-going and something you want to explore rather than suppress. (And shouldn’t people in relationships suppress their interests in others, regardless of gender?) Many people also view homosexuality and bisexuality as inherently promiscuous conditions, the latter almost by its nature implying something other than a monogamous life. But perhaps a relationship is strengthened and enriched by honest discussion and more seriously threatened by concealed history and on-going fantasy.

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